I know, I’m a bad blogger. Not that anyone reads this, but I like writing it. I’m at a crossroads now. I don’t know whether to follow my dreams and take a real civil job (for less money!) or to keep selling my soul to the man and working for a defense contractor. I may need to cut down on the skiing, the clothes and the exotic vacations, but it might be worth it. Might. its hard to know if this is even my dream anymore, when I haven’t even thought about doing it in a year or so. Its hard to know if its worth giving up some friends( the ones who don’t bother to keep in touch I guess aren’t real friends) and living so close to my family and boyfriend. I really wont be that far away, only about 20 minutes further, but it will be a longer commute to work.
On the other hand, I’m not sure if an opportunity like this will come up again without more sacrifice, more distance and less pay. Decisions decisions. And its scary to think of not taking the same road to work every day,eating the same breakfast from the coffee stand and sitting at the same desk with the same people. But sitting at a desk is what I hate the most, so maybe this will make me happier.